Bella and Lizzy are sitting in their seats terrified as the axe man comes to another house, then Bella says
"Justin me and Lizzy are going to the toilet" ( to hide ) ,the axe man strikes and Bella and Lizzy jump out of their seats in fright of the axe man in the movie. Then there`s a knock at the door "I`ll get it"Justin says as he slowly opens the door,the wind blew some dead leaves in and he could see that the rain was getting very hard as the storm started.
"Justin be careful it could be the axe man" Sam says jokingly.
"Do you really think it is the axe man"? Lizzy says in a frightened voice.
"Dont be silly he`s not real its only a movie" Sam says. Justin looks out into the darkness of the night and the storm is beginning to get worse,
"Theres no one there, I definitely heard someone knock on the door" says Justin, starting to get scared
"So did I" said Bella
"Me too" replied Lizzy and Sam. Justin goes to close the door and, BANG, lightning strikes as the door slams shut.
*good onomatapueia
*good use of speech
more description
Chapter 4
Bella and Lizzy are sitting in their seats terrified as the axe man comes to another house, then Bella says
"Justin me and Lizzy are going to the toilet" ( to hide ) ,the axe man strikes and Bella and Lizzy jump out of their seats in fright of the axe man in the movie. Then there`s a knock at the door "I`ll get it"Justin says as he slowly opens the door,the wind blew some dead leaves in and he could see that the rain was getting very hard as the storm started.
"Justin be careful it could be the axe man" Sam says jokingly.
"Do you really think it is the axe man"? Lizzy says in a frightened voice.
"Dont be silly he`s not real its only a movie" Sam says. Justin looks out into the darkness of the night and the storm is beginning to get worse,
"Theres no one there, I definitely heard someone knock on the door" says Justin, starting to get scared
"So did I" said Bella
"Me too" replied Lizzy and Sam. Justin goes to close the door and, BANG, lightning strikes as the door slams shut.
*good onomatapueia
*good use of speech
more description